Stranger than Fiction: Archive

Please tell me if I should be insulted or...

sciencewonderart: I WOULD DATE YOU SO HARD, AND THEN MARRY THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS! AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED. AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE. AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY...

Mar 28th

301,034 notes

Mar 26th

15,741 notes

Mar 26th

80,557 notes

Mar 8th

268 notes

Mar 8th

104,893 notes

Mar 5th

5,236 notes

Mar 5th

160,788 notes

Mar 1st

6,764 notes

Unfailingly.: unkaglen: When your breakup is... →

unkaglen: When your breakup is killing you [context.] Here’s the thing though, if he had been the great guy you thought he was, and more, this still wouldn’t have worked out. This guy is an imperfect person, and (granted, we didn’t know just HOW imperfect until the end there, but still)…

Feb 29th

164 notes

Feb 28th

90,582 notes

Feb 28th

40,683 notes

Feb 28th

12,774 notes

Feb 28th

68 notes

Jan 6th

1,522 notes

Dec 13th

5 notes

Dec 13th

11,528 notes

Dec 13th

16,306 notes

Dec 13th

6,733 notes

Dec 13th

9,069 notes

Dec 13th

18,241 notes

Dec 13th

12,289 notes

Dec 13th

2,938 notes

Dec 13th

7,960 notes

Dec 5th

79 notes

A Mother's Prayer For Her Child by Tina Fey

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty. When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half and stick with Beer. Guide her, protect her when crossing the...

Nov 14th

7 notes

24 tags

Nov 11th

1 note

26 tags

Nov 11th

6 notes

Nov 3rd

14,150 notes

Nov 3rd

5,648 notes

Oct 24th

2,072 notes

Oct 24th

31,167 notes

Five Lessons About How To Treat People

happythings: imgaysoiwannaplay: — Author Unknown Source: http://www.globalone.tv/profiles/blogs/how-to-treat-others-5-lessons 1. First Important Lesson - “Know The Cleaning Lady” During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who...

Oct 6th

13,752 notes